Today is Thanksgiving. The day we are all supposed to be thankful for what we have and not long for what we don't.
I'm very thankful. I have a wonderful family. A job and a roof over my head. A car to get me where I need to go. Although money can be tight, we have what we need. I am very thankful for what God has blessed me with.
But I want to be honest and share my heart (followed by a little reminder and advice).
All I want on this Thanksgiving day is for our two empty seats to be filled with those in which they were always assigned. I want my sweet Aubrey Laine and my Grandmama here.
I want to hear Aub proclaim that her Lainie makes "THE BEST turkey in the world!" I want her to ask "how many breads" she can have and if I'll please put the butter in it for her..."lots of butter". I want her to eat pecan pie and have messy, sweet, sticky cheeks afterward. I want, I want. I'll never stop longing for my girl. Thanksgiving...all holidays...will never feel complete. No matter how many show up or who sits where, there will always be missing seats.
Holidays for the bereaved are a struggle unlike any other. The highs and lows are much more profound (even more than on every other day). Having to push aside the gut-wrenching feelings--the ones that make you want to crawl back into bed and sob and not ever get up--to put on a brave, happy face to celebrate with those who are still here with us. You have to ignore the knots and nausea and fill your stomach with all the delicious holiday food.
The laughter shared is always followed with silence and that big sigh that reminds you of the pain, the void.
It's always there. It never goes away.
Many of you have to be several different places today. Multiple family/friends gatherings. It's chaotic, I know. But enjoy it. Enjoy everyone around you and the time you have with them. You never know when it may be your last. You never know when there will be that empty seat at your table.
For those of you who have to share the holiday--and your child--with an ex, pay close attention to my advice. I've lived out those years and all the difficult back-and-forth. It's hard, I know. It's easy to be resentful and not to want to share, especially on the holidays.
Please, just thankful there is a child to share. Delight with your child at their love for their other parent and family. Encourage that relationship to flourish, no matter how you feel. Let it be a celebration that they have so many people that love them, they get to go to multiple places and be reminded of that. Do not gripe and complain. Do not make them feel like they have to choose. Do not let them think you're sad about this.
Remember, you are blessed to have this child to share. They're coming back to you.
I pray you never have to know what it's like for them not to be here at all.
Life is short. God allows us to have those we love. He doesn't promise us tomorrow.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
Happy Thanksgiving
