Today, I turned 40. No big deal but it made me reflect in a huge way. I thought about every decade before this and where I was in life for each milestone.
I remember being a silly 10-year-old pondering life. It’s so funny now but it’s still so vivid in my mind. Sitting on a four wheeler staring at the beautiful farm all around me and imagining where my life would go. Little did I know!
At 20, I was married with a baby boy. Absolutely nothing was right but I was still trucking through each day, living for my precious boy. I experienced horrible things I never thought were possible. My faith wavered and I saw some dark days but life moved on and chapters changed.
At 30, I had been divorced, remarried and re-divorced. I had three children who made every single day worth living. However, irresponsible decisions made for terrible waves of disappointment and heartache for both my children and me. Those three were dragged through every bad decision I made and I will forever regret that.
Little did I know that in two short years, from that birthday, I would lose my baby girl.
Absolutely nothing, not any amount of disappointment or heartache prepared me to be jolted for life or the reality of living with such a void.
Now, I’m 40. My life looks nothing like I planned but I couldn’t imagine it ever being better.
I have twin girls who keep me laughing and on my toes.
My husband works 7 days a week, either at his job or breaking his back creating whatever I imagine. He almost never says “no” to my dreams and schemes.
My sons make me more proud every day. One is Graduating high school and also in college. The other is working hard to take over a business. Both are about to move out on their own and preparing for marriage. They are my pride and joy.
I spent most of my day working outside and looking around this same beautiful farm I’ve been fortunate enough to live on most of my forty years. I never want to live anywhere else.
I have family who are friends and friends who are family.
How can we ever be so arrogant—or lost—to believe for a second we don’t need God? How do we try to manage our own lives?
“Jesus take the wheel”!
I don’t want it ever again. I have wrecked so many times (literally and figuratively). I do not want to drive this train. I want Him—Only Him—leading my family and me. Forever.
To relinquish control and sit back and enjoy the ride. Knowing He will never take us where we don’t need to be. He will never wreck us. (He doesn’t even need to ask for directions.)
With God as our savior, protector, our guild through life, we will always be just fine. With His promise of eternal life, I’m calling shotgun!
LOVE🙌🏼
