Soon after conception, the female baby's body begins to quickly develop. Inside that tiny being are hundreds of thousands of eggs that could one day be her own children. Very clearly, God created females to be mothers.
As children, we play "house" and care for our baby dolls. We nurture our pets and love all babies. Before our first boyfriend, we have already planed our future lives as a Mama.
As teenagers, our bodies begin to change and go through a process designed solely to reproduce. The pain, inconvenience and even isolation starts there.
Then, if life goes as planned, you find the perfect man and marry. Your body no longer belongs to only you. Your days are spent nurturing your spouse. Your mind is constantly planning daily activities, household chores, meals and even romance. You try to keep up your appearance to keep your husband's attention.
You always have to be tuned into your body to avoid pregnancy before you're ready. Then, the time comes to try for a baby. So you chart, time sex, take tests and basal body temperatures and read into every little sign your body gives.
For some it's easy. For so many others, this cycle repeats itself for months and even years to no avail. It takes every bit of romance out of a marriage. It makes you feel like less of a woman and creates a loneliness that is unexplainable. It tests your faith in yourself, your spouse and even God.
I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone.
For the fortunate ones, you finally become pregnant.
Suddenly, you aren't just you...or your husband's wife...you're someone's mother.
You're excited, scared and overwhelmed by all the information you have to learn. Every thought is about this tiny unborn baby. What you eat, how you dress, when you sleep. You're vamped up on hormones and totally out of control of your own body. You worry about how your husband feels about you in this new form. You have so many mixed emotions about how you feel about yourself. You try to imagine what life as parents will be like. You think you know how life will never be the same again.
Towards the end of pregnancy, the excitement turns to terror. You realize there are only two ways this baby (or babies) can come and neither are fun or easy. No amount of classes, books or even friends personal experiences can prepare you for what lies ahead. While every woman's birth story is different, the feelings are all similar in ways. The fear, anxiety, pain, strength, weakness and endurance required is unexplainable.
Regardless of the length of labor, the method of delivery or the pain endured, the moment that baby is born a peace comes over you. You are immediately bonded and you are very aware that your life has officially changed course.
The days, weeks and months following a birth are intense. The physical recovery is horrible. Your body has just been through the unimaginable and will never go back to exactly what it was before. You're exhausted in a way you never knew possible. You're every moment is about that child and they are demanding little creatures from day one. Taking care of a baby requires all you have and then some.
Regardless of how good of a husband/daddy you have beside you, the majority of responsibility belongs to the woman. Maybe we are simply better equipped. Maybe there isn't anyone but you there (I have been one and have the highest respect for ALL single mothers.) Sometimes a baby just prefers Mama. It's a grueling--but very rewarding-- full-time job.
You'll face body image issues no matter your previous vanity or self-security level. You'll doubt your God-given mothering capabilities. Your marriage will be shaken and there will be resentment on BOTH sides. You'll loose yourselves in the storm that is all things baby.
Your life is no longer your own. It is no longer your husbands. You are someone's Mama.
Having children means
that your heart is walking around in this world outside of your body. Their joy is your joy. Their pain is your pain. When they are injured you feel it inside your own body. It's an incredible phenomenon.
People make jokes and talk about the way God created women, saying that they are emotional, weak, etc. Mothers are strong, multifaceted and incredible beings all-around. We climb mountains. We live a life that no one can understand or fully appreciate until or unless they themselves become a mother.
While no one can prepare you for the pain, heartache, sacrifice and endurance required for this job, there is also no way to be prepared for the amount of love, happiness, reward and pure joy felt by doing it.
The cost of being a woman is one I'll happily pay for the rest of my life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0L9NRVYSa5Y
