The Many Sides of Grief

Grief is a cancer. It lives inside of it's host, wreaking havoc and taking over. It sucks the joy and fun out of life. It ages you...wears you out. 

Grief is an active threat. It doesn't back down. It's sneaky. It cannot be outsmarted or outrun. 

Grief is the ultimate opponent. Grief does not play nice. 

Grief, itself, cannot be seen but it's effects are very evident. 

Grief is also a gift. 

I often say, the bigger the love, the bigger the loss. I fully believe that. The more we love a person, the more we feel their absence. It's a blessing and a curse but--for me--it's worth every single bit of pain to have loved and have been loved. 

Losing something that is more important to you than most anything in your world makes it much easier to measure the value of all other things. You quickly realize who and what matter to you. You spend less time trying to impress others and more time with the ones closest to you. You stop "sweating the small stuff" and just let it go! You know to savor each moment that is good. 

Grief makes you tough, in good ways and bad. When you know that you have experienced possibly the worst thing imaginable, it makes other things seem survivable. 

In a less appealing way, it toughens you where you push people away. The good news in that is it shows you who is willing to love you in spite of the walls you put up. If someone is willing break the walls down (or better yet, climb inside with you) they're worth having around. 

Grief is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Through these last five years, I've grown and changed in ways I never imagined possible. I have met others walking the same path. I've lost many who aren't willing to take on the burden. I have learned to survive in ways that others may not approve of or understand. What I know above all of that is that it's all temporary. This life...this pain...it's not here to stay. One day, God will call me to be with my girl. Until then, I'm going to try to trust Him and love who I can, when I can, the best I can. It's all any of us can handle if you think about it. I'm sorry for anyone that doesn't fall into one of those categories at any given time. I never mean to hurt others. Please forgive me if I have. 

So, do your best to be kind to everyone. We are all walking through something in our own little worlds. LOVE